While I'm Waiting - June 2013

I'm in a funk...I've thought trippped over several thoughts in what I have wanted to write during this Holy Week.  I've read over other blogs, looking for inspiration, or just a spark.  Nothing!

 

So, I open up my emails and go to the folder labeled "Inspiration" to see if "there's anything to jump start my thinking."  Here's what I found:

 

On this day of your life, God wants you to know ... that when you feel down, look at yourself through God's eyes.

There are times when no matter how hard you try, you just cannot accept yourself as you are. During such times, think of how you look to God's eyes. In God's eyes, there is no judgment, there is only acceptance. God sees your light when all that you can see are your shadows. God loves you more than anyone could ever love you as you really are.

 

Do I feel inspired yet? You bet! This "Inspiration" certainly made me think about what has been going on in our house for the past several days. Six children living at home, and they are all sick.  Some worse than the others, and three of them will be making a trip to the pediatrician this morning to get their ears checked, and there's probably a strep test in there for each of them too.

 

 

Tim and I prayed for months asking God if I was better off staying home with our children (pregnant with my fourth child at the time), and raising them instead of paying to give that privilege to someone else.  Shortly after David was born, I was spending time in the morning and afternoon visiting the nurses office to pump milk. It broke my heart taking my three young children to "daycare" so that I could commute into work each day, and just going through the motions.  A lovely, motherly woman from my Church gave me a copy of the book, "The Apostolate of Holy Motherhood".  Whenever I spent time in the nurses office, I would read this book.

 

Most of the members of my family believe that I trust God completely in all things.  Well, that's not the case.  Especially with this situation.  I told God that if He really wanted me to be a stay-at-home Mom, and take care of these children that He gave me, that He was going to have to show me.....three times. What nerve I had! I remember at the time thinking that I needed His reassurance (because society says that in order to give your children everything that the need, that both parents HAVE TO WORK!).  And boy, did I ever get shown!

 

I cannot remember the first two incidents that He showed me, but the final, third one, I will never forget!  At the time that I was working full time, I was in a new position in a call center and required to work one shift a week from 11 in the morning until 8 at night.  Tim was adjusting his schedule so that he was able to watch the children at least 2 days a week to "save us money".  On this particular morning, I headed down to the nurses office, got my things all set-up, started pumping milk, and reading my book.  Like a bolt of lightning, I read about how it's the woman's job to care for the chilren and the home (contrary to popular belief!).  When the woman does the job that God is calling her to, than her husband has to worry less about where she is, what the children are doing, and the state of the home.  The husbands focus is where it should be, on the vocation that God is calling him to (provider, and head of the family).

 

So, the leave of absence was requested and approved.  After two weeks of being home, full-time, I realized that I truly was where I belonged.....where God showed me where He wanted me to be!  That was over 14 years ago, and there hasn't been one time where I've had the urge to get into my car and drive the commute into the city or deal with the office politics.

 

Thank you God, for loving me as I am.

Thank you God, for putting up with my demanding requests.

Thank you God, for showing me where You want me to be.

Thank you God, for not giving up on me.

And.....thank you God, for being patient with me....while I'm waiting!

 

May God bless you and yours abundantly!